Jason Statham’s new action vehicle SAFE has debuted a new TV spot that showcases various ways in which Statham will kick ass:
For example, if you shoot at him, he’s going to shoot back and his shots, unlike yours, will not miss. Because he’s Jason mother effin Statham, goddamnit. God doesn’t allow him to miss. Even the shot that hit furniture is not a miss – he was specifically aiming for that furniture because it looked at him in a funny way. “F U furniture!” is what Jason was thinking at that time.
You can even look at that quiet bit in the end, where Statham is shown eating a sandwich – he is kicking that sandwich’s ass with his teeth. He hates that sandwich so much and he kicks so much ass that he can’t stop. Asking Jason Statham to stop kicking ass is like asking him to die, which is impossible because HE IS IMMORTAL.
As for the film, it’s a Jason Statham starrer so it doesn’t need a story. It’s enough for you to know that it’s a coming of age story focusing on Jason’s fists as they go on a life-changing journey that starts from his side and ends in somebody’s punchable face. Except this time, SAFE also has an actual story, because Jason JUST PUNCHED YOUR STUPID EXPECTATIONS SQUARE IN THE FACE, which is like kicking its ass, but in reverse.
SAFE has Statham playing the role of an ex-cop who is now making a living as a cage fighter. He soon finds himself involved in aiding a young Korean girl who is being targeted by a group of gangsters, and here’s the twist: said gangsters are the same group of people who KILLED HIS WIFE!
Of course, this being a Jason Statham, that synopsis probably makes up 10% of the movie, and the remaining 90% is just Jason Statham being his usual ass-kicky self. Safe will open in the UK on May 4, 2012.
Note: the doctor is currently AWOL, so I will be in charge of providing you with movie-related news. I apologize in advance if my posts are not as good as the doctor’s, because based on my experience, my posts are almost always better.